Twilight Theories
by RoarSaysDaniSaur
Summary: Just a bunch of little funny stories that totally should happen in "Breaking Dawn" but probably won't. R&R please!
1. Prologue?

Hey there!

My friends and I have been writing these "theories" on what we wish would happen in _Breaking Dawn_ but probably won't.

I've been dying to put them up here for a while, so here they are!

**WARNING**

DO NOT READ UNLESS:

You have finished all 3 books

You hate Jacob

You hate Rosalie

You don't mind grammar mistakes.

You don't mind tense switching

IF 2 OUT OF THESE 5 APPLY, READ ON!!

And review…. That would be super!

P.S. If you have your own "theory" and want it in the story, PM me or e-mail me at .

Thanks,

Mii-chan loves youu


	2. Theory 1

Theory 1

Jacob goes to anger management classes to help control his anger. He then spontaneously combusts because of all the bottled-up anger. At his funeral, Embry kills Rosalie, mistaking her for Edward. Bella, Edward, & Alice run away to Canada to kill some geese and turn Bella into a vampire. Then, Emmet tries to get revenge on the werewolves for killing Rosalie, so he crosses the line and kills Sam…and Embry…and Jared. Then, Charlie and Billy get into a fight and Charlie pushes Billy down some stairs, so he dies. Later, Charlie feels bad that he killed his best friend, so he kills himself. And Esme and Carisle are having a second honeymoon in Italy visiting the Volturi.


	3. Theory 2

Theory 2

Bella & Edward go to South Africa spontaneously to kill lions and Alice stays home. Jacob & the werewolves go hunting and run into Tanya's coven while they are visiting Forks. They get into a fight. The vampires prevail and all the werewolves die. Charlie is outraged that Bella is in South Africa with Edward, so he drives down to the Cullen's house, but gets lost on the way there and falls asleep while driving. He hits a tree and dies. Rosalie was out hunting platypus in Australia. She killed one and bit into its foot. She forgot that the feet are poisonous and she died from the venom. Emmet and Jasper left and became their own coven because they were bored…it only lasted 2 days. Alice won her bet. Then, Angela became a witch and joined the party.


	4. Theory 3

Theory 3

Everyone dies

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

Except Edward Cullen


	5. Theory 4

Theory 4

Edward was mad at Jacob for showing up at his and Bella's wedding, even though he invited Jacob. Anyways, he punched Jacob in the face & all of Jacob's teeth fell out and he became a very ugly werewolf. So, Jacob & all of his werewolvie friends bought some nukes to get back at Edward. Jacob shot all the nukes at the Cullen house. But, the werewolves were so stupid that they did not realize that the nukes would blow up every single person & living thing on the planet including them. So, that's what happened: every single person & living thing on the planet blew up from the nukes…except for Edward who was protected by his extreme sexiness. The dead people, for those of you who do not understand the concept of the word 'everybody', include Carlisle, Esme, Charlie, Rosalie, Jasper, Alice, Emmet, Charlie, Jacob, Sam, Quil, Embry, Paul, Jared, Billy, and Bella…yes, Bella. But not Edward. So, by the time Edward actually realizes that Bella was actually dead he had rebuilt his also sexy house. Then, Edward has a semi-mental breakdown without anyone else to talk to so he resurrects Bella from the dead because he's just so damn sexy that he can have Jesus powers. But when he brings Bella back, she is still dead. AHH! So he stuffs her like a dead animal & sticks her in the corner of his house & they lived happily ever after together. YAY! But not really…mwahaha.


	6. Theory 5

Theory 5

Bella left Edward for Jacob and made readers who don't like Jacob around the world cry for at _least_ an hour. Bella never becomes a vampire and Edward goes into a deep depression. Alice sees Bella coming back, so Edward gets all excited and awaits her return. Embry & Quil lose a bet to Sam & must shave their hair so that they are bald wolves. So then, Rosalie is walking & not paying attention. She looks over a bridge nearby when Mike Newton comes up behind her and pushes her…because he was feeling evil that day. She dies instantly. Charlie is so overwhelmed with happiness that Bella chose Jacob. So much happiness that he explodes. And then Jacob pisses Bella off and she leaves him for Edward, which made Edward lovers and haters the world over cry more. One night, Jacob comes to the Cullen house and somehow steals Bella & takes her back to La Push where she stayed prisoner forever and ever until she died.


	7. Theory 6

Theory 6

While in South Africa (refer to Theory 2), Bella & Edward find Angelina Jolie & talk her out of adopting an Ethiopian baby & make some of her own. Alice, who is in America, goes on a peace rally & makes since saying, "Make Babies, Not Guns!" Rosalie joins her & gets shot by cops during a rally. Emmett gets all depressed & kills Charlie, mistaking him for a werewolf. Jacob gets into a fight with Sam & is forced to leave the pack & die alone in the woods. So he does. And then Miley Cyrus comes to Forks for a concert (Alice forsaw this at her peace rally) and Jasper kills her so that she can be a threat to society no more!


	8. Theory 7

Theory 7

Famine comes to the werewolf pack and kills them all. Except Jacob, because that idiot will never die! And Quil, because I just realized that he's not that bad. The circus comes to Forks and the vampires (and Bella) went to see it. Rosalie got up to go to the bathroom, but got trampled by elephants because she went through the wrong door and died. Alice forsees something bad that involves Edward, Bella, and, surprisingly, Emmett…yeah, Emmett. So, werewolves are down to 2 & they just sort of gave up on killing the vampires. Jacob eventually rots from the inside-out because his werewolf form got bored. Quil does not die. YAY! So, Alice tells Edward & Emmett to take Bella to Alaska & change her into a vampire so that she can live in happiness with Edward forever and ever…Until I come along and stab Bella in the heart when Edward's not looking & have her bite me so I can live with the Cullens! YAY ME! All the other Edward/Emmett/Jasper/Alice/Carlisle/Esme fans can come, too!


	9. Thank You!

**THANKS TO ALL!**

REVIEWERS:

Nightmaremonster

Loveneko 64

Ninjapickle246

Scarletfrost

Emmyfreak13

Bichonluvr

Liiz33h-ox

TheBetafish

stormiblizzard

FAVORITE-ERS:

Ninjapickle246

Emmyfreak13

TheBetafish

stormiblizzard

ALERTERS:

TheBetafish

stormiblizzard


	10. Theory 8

Theory 8

All the Cullens get AIDS.

Then, all the werewolves get AIDS because Bella was feeling feisty.

**Reviews are as great as Edward Cullen!**

**thanks to all!**

REVIEWS:

Fangsgirl24601

cullen in my blood --love the name!

CrazyInLove1

FAVORITE-ERS:

Fangsgirl24601

Lilithia-fallenangel

ALERTERS:

Fangsgirl24601

Lilithia-fallenangel


	11. Theory 9

**Hey everyone!!  
I know it's been a while since I've posted a theory, but here's a new one! **

**And there's 15 days and counting until _Breaking Dawn _arrives! Who's as excited as I am?!**

**Enjoy!**

* * *

Theory 9

Edward and Bella get married (but we all knew that…)!

Bella wants kids, but (as we all hopefully know) vampires are not able to reproduce. So, Edward comes up with a brilliant idea. They adopted a sickly child, and turn it into a vampire and raise it as their own.

Alice and Jasper become jealous, so they go out and adopted a sickly child for themselves.

As for Emmet and Rosalie…well, let's just say Rosalie got into a freak accident with a duck and hasn't been heard from since. Emmet hasn't been taking it very well…cheer up, emo vampire!

* * *

Any ideas for more theories? PM me or let me know in the **review that you should leave**! And, if worse comes to worse, e-mail me at (just without the spaces)


	12. Theory 10

**This theory is credit to Unintentional Emo Kid. Thank you for your input!**

Yeah, two in one day...it hasn't even been an hour since the last one!

_Breaking Dawn_ in 15 days!! I can't wait!

* * *

Theory 10

Bella realizes she's not in love with Edward anymore, and leaves him at the altar. Alice begs her to stay with the Cullen's because Edward isn't the only one who was going to miss her. After being changed, she decides she's in love with Jasper, who recently ended his relationship with Alice because things "just weren't the same." He and Alice are still best friends. Jasper realizes that he loves Bella, too, and they end up getting married and then ride off on the motorcycle (see some part of _Eclipse_ for the reference) Edward gave him.

* * *

Want a theory of yours featured?? PM me, leave it in a **review**, or e-mail me at (just without the spaces!)

thank you fans!


	13. Theory 11

Sent into me by Mudpie94

3 in one day?! New record!

* * *

Theory 11

Bella turns into a vampire, then Jacob imprints on Edward and Bella scalps him, then

Sam gets mad and feeds Rosalie to a rabid cow.

* * *

Want your theory featured? Send it to me in a PM, a **review for this story **or e-mail me at (just without the spaces!)


	14. Theories 12 & 13

**I'm so sorry I haven't been updating! I'm just so excited for the release of _Breaking Dawn_ that I'm deciding to update now. Here are two theories sent to me by mudpie94. Enjoy!**

* * *

Theory 12

Jacob tries to object at Bella and Edward's wedding, but then a rabid platypus comes and bites Jessica, who Carlisle turns into a vampire to stop her from dying. Edward realizes that he would rather be with her, and leaves Bella. But Jacob loves Jessica too. So Bella feeds Jessica to a giant squid and takes all of Jacob's junk to sell on E-bay.

Theory 13

Emmett goes crazy and beats up Jacob, and then Bella gets mad and burns all of Rosalie's left shoes. Rosalie goes crazy from having no shoes and kills herself.  
The End.

* * *

**I also would like to thank the following people:**

Blazingstar1994-favorite and review

Mudpie94-review and lots of input!

Xox-fanpires.620-xox-review and alerting the story

Elizabeth.Cullen.XD-review and alerting the story

Awesomeness 101-favorite and review

Musicnartfan07-review and favorite

* * *

**Thanks to everyone who reads these theories! I'm sorry to say that these are probably the last theories and I most likely won't continue…unless I don't like the ending of _Breaking Dawn_ and I come up with alternate ending! Cross your fingers!**

**Until then, thank you all!**

**--Mii-chan loves youu--**


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